Some of the things I have noticed the last few weeks in my life for some reason or another have me thinking about myself (which I try not to do). The type of person I am and the type of person people portray me as.
I use tumblr a lot, I have used it since 2009. It used to be what I went to as a blog, to vent and to share photos. Recently I have been looking back at my old blogs and often times shaking my head at myself then other times thinking; where did that girl go?
I’m locked up, literally, locked into a room most of my day. Prison life is not for those who need to roam. My head stays full of all the things I would rather be doing… painting, writing, reading… listening to music! It stays there all day locked in this place, the need for something creative to happen something worth my time, SOMETHING to be proud of.
Looking back on that blog when I had a more “free” job I can see plain as day I have trapped myself. My mind stays so full that when I try to focus of those things I love to do it comes out in garbled mess. I ramble… there is so much information that needs out it becomes ramble-ly and long winded. I blame that on being a person who doesn’t actually speak often; I take to typing it all out. In a mess.
Once I leave this place for good in a month I hope it comes back, my clear creative side. I hope to find a job that better fits the person I am. Getting patted down, going through metal detector and random drug test every other day really doesn’t fit my personality. Nor does being locked, up physically and mentally.
I’ll find it, I have to. I had more to say.. but it just escaped me and I have to get back to work…
I use tumblr a lot, I have used it since 2009. It used to be what I went to as a blog, to vent and to share photos. Recently I have been looking back at my old blogs and often times shaking my head at myself then other times thinking; where did that girl go?
I’m locked up, literally, locked into a room most of my day. Prison life is not for those who need to roam. My head stays full of all the things I would rather be doing… painting, writing, reading… listening to music! It stays there all day locked in this place, the need for something creative to happen something worth my time, SOMETHING to be proud of.
Looking back on that blog when I had a more “free” job I can see plain as day I have trapped myself. My mind stays so full that when I try to focus of those things I love to do it comes out in garbled mess. I ramble… there is so much information that needs out it becomes ramble-ly and long winded. I blame that on being a person who doesn’t actually speak often; I take to typing it all out. In a mess.
Once I leave this place for good in a month I hope it comes back, my clear creative side. I hope to find a job that better fits the person I am. Getting patted down, going through metal detector and random drug test every other day really doesn’t fit my personality. Nor does being locked, up physically and mentally.
I’ll find it, I have to. I had more to say.. but it just escaped me and I have to get back to work…
